Today I have been in a "nostalgic" mood. One of my students aptly named me nostalgic in one of our discussions about books and technology. I walked through Barnes & Noble this morning, and I couldn't help but thinking of my life.
As I lovingly touched the spines of my favorite books in new editions and found new books by favorite authors, I thought of my love of books and how it has shaped me as a writer. While humming along to the ever playing soundtrack of "Mama Mia" and spending way to much money on books that are worth it, I began to think back about my past as a reader and writer.
When I was eleven I got really sick. I was unable to attend school, and for some time I was unable to leave my bed. I had horrible insomnia even though I was so tired--that is actually the perfect definition of insomnia. I was separated from friends by the very fact that I wasn't around. My family was AMAZING and tried to supplement my lack of human contact as much as they could. But after everyone went to bed I faced hours of silence and alone time. This lasted for about three years. In that time I consumed books at an alarming rate. I read things that most eleven year olds had never heard of: Moby Dick, Little Women, A Room with a View, Meditation's of Marcus Aurelius, Cold Sassy Tree, Little Men, Jo's Boys, Walden, the Journals of Ralph Waldo Emerson, Les Miserables, Jane Eyre, Pride and Prejudice, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, To Kill a Mockingbird, Dandelion Wine, Anne of Green Gables, Ivan Hoe, The Count of Monte Cristo, The Three Musketeers, Around the World in 80 Days, Journey to the Center of the Earth, the poems of TS Eliot, Walt Whitman. I read all of my parents' old college text books--my mother's Victorian and Elizabethan poets were an especial treat. I read Hamlet for the first time and what my brother was reading two years ahead of me.
I began to write myself into movie plots and book plots, peopling the night with friends and teachers. I also watched a lot of movies, documentaries, TV shows, and read magazines and academic journals. I don't really remember anything else but the books and knowledge I received from that time. At one point my optic nerve was affected and I couldn't read. It was like literally going blind, though I could see, I couldn't read so I felt like I couldn't see. I began listening to books on tape and that was a whole new ball game. I listened to everything--with good taste of course. I became the family librarian. I would send my mother to the library with a long list of books for me and then I would distribute to the family.
By the time I got better and made it to high school I was a rather peculiar child as you might guess. I had begun writing in journals and writing stories and though health had kind of returned, I still kept up my habit of binging on books. Health has been a wary visitor for me, and I often have to keep in touch with reality through my books. I realize I didn't have a normal childhood and I don't expect anyone else to go out and lose themselves in a library. But I think about all that I know, somethings I wish I didn't know, and all of the knowledge I have amassed and realize that I am who I am the sum of all of my experiences. Even though many of them were incredibly painful or scary I realize I could never be who I am with out them. For me reading and writing were my only contact with the world--even the Science Fiction seemed more real than my life at that time. And so I affirm that though the path is long and winding, and less traveled by--"it has made all the difference."
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
Seven Frightful Facts
I have been tagged by Karaline and asked to write down seven weird or unknown things about me. So here we go.
1. If I could be anything and money was not an option here is a list of jobs I want:
Teacher
Princess
Crayon Namer for Crayola
Taste Tester and Ice cream Flavor Creator for Ben and Jerry's
2. I have a list of crazy things I want to do someday, here are the highlights:
I want to go to stunt driving school.
I want to recite Sonnet 116 in the Globe Theater in Strattford-upon-Avon
I want to sing in a real razzle dazzle tambourine toting Baptist Gospel Choir
3. I am afraid of not have something to write with or on, or read. I always carry at least 20 pens and pencils of various shades and have been known to write on menus, books, receipts, my arm, etc. If I don't have something to read I will read labels, shampoo bottles, wrappers, anything--just to read.
4. Sometimes I have dreams that come true.
5. I am afraid of nursing homes.
6. Doorways make me nervous, always have. You never know what will come through them.
7. I have a wandering kidney.
1. If I could be anything and money was not an option here is a list of jobs I want:
Teacher
Princess
Crayon Namer for Crayola
Taste Tester and Ice cream Flavor Creator for Ben and Jerry's
2. I have a list of crazy things I want to do someday, here are the highlights:
I want to go to stunt driving school.
I want to recite Sonnet 116 in the Globe Theater in Strattford-upon-Avon
I want to sing in a real razzle dazzle tambourine toting Baptist Gospel Choir
3. I am afraid of not have something to write with or on, or read. I always carry at least 20 pens and pencils of various shades and have been known to write on menus, books, receipts, my arm, etc. If I don't have something to read I will read labels, shampoo bottles, wrappers, anything--just to read.
4. Sometimes I have dreams that come true.
5. I am afraid of nursing homes.
6. Doorways make me nervous, always have. You never know what will come through them.
7. I have a wandering kidney.
Arches
I still can see the burnt orange of those towers of Navajo sandstone if I close my eyes. They seem to be deeply engraved on my mind's eye--a sunburn that never goes away. The fins raise their arched backs to the sky like primeval cats of red stone hunching up in an eternal s-t-r-e-t-c-h.
This sandbox that I never want to leave is peopled with ring tail squirrels, Mormon tea, sagebrush, scrub oak just beginning to change color, and jack rabbit. Also vacationing in the camp ground, much to our chagrin, was a mountain lion.* One night we discovered that the large rounded paw prints in the sand did not belong to a dog, but to an actual mountain lion. Apparently he had been stalking jack rabbits in the rounded and full mooned nights and then we barged into his territory. I had always heard that rabbits scream when they are killed, but until that frosty star filled night when I heard it--I didn't truly believe in the primal horror of that death scream. My cousin Elizabeth awoke the next morning, pale eyes wide, and never was quite the same. At night before every astonishing moon rise, the stars were overwhelming--like an overturned colander with some cosmic flashlight shinning through each of its numerous holes.
Orion danced across the star-horizon, the triangle of Leo's head winked at the poor upside down W of Cassiopeia. The milky way in sheets and streaks nestling the pleiades--the seven sisters--much like my mother and her siblings--though there are only six of them and two are boys--okay so maybe the pleiades really has nothing to do with us, but for some reason they seem like our "home" stars. At night after everyone returned from hiking we gather around the huge sparky hardwood fires made possible by my brother's flooring business and my grandma and I quote poetry to each other. I quote The Jabberwocky and she remembers helping uncle Matt memorize it for his crazy ninth grade English teacher, and she quotes The Children's Hour in memory of finding our magic cave--a little sandstone alcove about four feet up the fin covered by a juniper tree. It is still there, twelve years later. We both get stuck on Invictus and can't recite the last stanza and we veer off into Kipling and can't remember the poem or the title just the ending, "and then you'll be a man, my son." Then we slide into "To thine own self be true" which grandma absentmindedly attributes to Polonius addressing Claudius--which just makes it more funny. Then we move on to "the sound and fury--Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow" the sad soliloquy from Macbeth. We are both agitated that we can't remember "Invictus" and when we both return home we search for it and catch each other through email and instant message as we send it to each other, along with "If" by Rudyard Kipling. She sends me a scan of a book that will come to me when she is gone--something I still can't quite believe will happen--of a poem that she has written my name in the margin. Overall it has been very satisfying. A hodge podge of somnolence, heat, cold, loss, joy--everything primal and powerful, the way it should be in such a place as Arches.
*Everything from here on out may or may not have happened to me or the way I wrote it, it just kind of took over, so for you who were there just enjoy it as a bit of nonsense.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Soundtrack 2008
Yes dear friends, it is that time of year again. It is time to make your life into a movie and give it a soundtrack. I have updated many items lately and I think you will enjoy some of the more obscure tunes. You are hearing it right now. So go to the bottom of the blog if you want to browse my soundtrack.
"In My Life": The Soundtrack of Alisha Geary
1. "The Rose" Bette Midler--along with 2."Another one Bites the Dust" by Queen this was the most popular song the year I was born.
3. “Capital I” from Sesame Street. I was a big fan of Sesame Street. I loved it so. This is one of the most beautiful little ditties. Jared and I agree on this one. I was around 1 1/2, I think when I first remember this.
4. “We are the World” USA for Africa, ahh the smell of diesel and suntan lotion, the trip to the Lake and the Camper rolling back on the tire catchers. Sigh…lots of cussing from Papa.
5. “Pinball Counting Song” okay, everyone remembers this right--The pinball counting song from Sesame Street by the Pointer Sisters?
6. “Bein’ Green” Kermit the Frog. This song first taught me about the sadness and strength that comes from being different. I would remember it when I faced my own green days.
7. “Music Box Dancer” Frank Mills. This song takes me back to my grandma’s dance studio watching Aunt Julie and Karen to point ballet.
8. “C is for Cookie” okay, I love cookies and I love Sesame Street. Was it any wonder that Cookie Monster was my favorite?
9. "Islands in the Stream" Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers, oh those good old days in the mellow yellow car going to Reams. I knew every word.
10. "The Glory of Love" Peter Cetera, from The Karate Kid 2, a favorite of me and my brother's. We would recreate that fateful last scene in the castle. But after Aaron did the crane on me we were encouraged not to play Karate Kid anymore.
11. "Chariots of Fire" Vangelis, amazing electric score for an amazing movie, reminds me of grandma's house and Aaron.
12. "Sweet Caroline" Neil Diamond, every Saturday we would play games and listen to oldies. Neil Diamond was a favorite for my mom and her sisters. This song reminds me of my cousin and all of the family singing to their wedding video. Jake's family must think we are crazy.
13. " Love me Tender" Elvis, "Is this the King?" I loved Elvis as a small child.
14. "Tomorrow" Annie Soundtrack, I would watch this every time I went to my Grandma Geary's. I love that movie so much.
15. "Rocky Raccoon" The Beatles, the fateful Badger Creek Youth Conference when it snowed.
16. " I am a Rock " Simon and Garfunkle, I was sick a lot and for a while this was my theme song. "I have my books and my poetry to protect me. I am shielded in my armor. Hiding in my room, safe within my womb, I touch no one and no one touches me. . . "
17. "Kodachrome" Simon and Garfunkle, you should hear what my mom thinks the words to this song are. Also reminds me of debate and our tee-shirts. The first verse is choice.
18. "Norwegian Wood" The Beatles, I listened to the Beatles every day but Sunday in high school.
19. "Drive my Car" The Beatles, learning to drive, not wanting to drive, hating to drive.15. " Magical Mystery Tour" The Beatles, Aaron left and I got to drive "Old Bess" our 1972 GMC orange and white striped truck with the fake wood stripe. I learned to love to drive in that Truck!
20. "Bitter Sweet Symphony" Senior Year, need I say more. I will never go back.17. "Wide Open Spaces" The Dixie Chicks--going to Snow and learning to tolerate Country music
21. "You wear Flowers" Peter Brienholt, Snow College
22. "Yesterday" The Bealtes, singing in LD Singers
23. " Good Day Sunshine" The Bealtes, getting to know and love my friend Liz Parnell
24. "Just to See You Smile" Tim McGraw, the first country song I liked. Kelly and Andrea used to play it in their room all of the time--at the same time as "California". Rap and Country!?!
25. "Lullabye" Billy Joel, LD Singers and Natalie
26. "And So It Goes" Billy Joel, Betsy's concert and finding the Mead House
27. "Into the Woods" Stephen Soundheim, bonding with Kathy and April
28. "Long Ago and Far Away" Jo Stafford. Grandpa Geary dies
29. "Your Song" Elton John, back to Logan, rediscovering some many friendsips with old friends like my brother, Brianna, Devin, Josh, Jordan, Bryan. Meeting Brooke and Jamie and JR. All of those nights playing cards and Full Contact Murder in the Dark.
30. " Invisible" Clay Aiken, intro to American Idol, I will always think of Brianna
31. "Waiting All My Life" Rascal Flatts, Aaron realizing that he had finally met "the one". I knew it when he started listening to country. :)
32. "It's Not Just Me" Aaron and Brooke get married! I finally get a sister.
33"To Where you Are" Josh Groban, Adrienne's Death at 23 of Leukemia
34 "Another Brick in the Wall" Pink Floyd, Graduate School and Teaching, Enter Steven Haderlie
35 "Forever in Blue Jeans" Neil Diamond, Graduate School and teaching
36 "White Christmas" The Drifters, The chior party where Thad proposed to me with Willie
37 "Defying Gravity" Wicked, Kendra Kendra Kendra
38 "I'm not that Girl" Wicked, my old theme song with boys
39 "You Look Wonderful tonight" Eric Clapton, the Spring Dance, Jodie and Steve's first date--had a blast with Thad
40"Lost" LOST, LOST parties and Wednesday nights
41"We are the Champions" Queen, I defended my thesis and graduated
42"This never happened" Paul McCartney, the Lake House and that great summer before I left. The pool parties with Anne and Kendra, Reba and Melissa, Jennie. When we went to "The Lake House" with Bryan after he threw Kendra into the pool and I went in of my own accord.
43. "Bad Day" Daniel Powter, first day in Provo
44. "Ooh Child" Five Stairsteps, Provo getting better
45. "Feeling Good" Michael Buble, loving life as a teacher and Provo--go figure. This reminds me of singing in the car with Sheri, Annie, Cheryl, Nicole, and Becca
46. "Chasing Cars" Snow Patrol, Thad's birthday meeting Curtis and the crew and Thad's siblings who would all become my neighbors.
47."You are Loved" Josh Groban, break up with Nick and moving on
48. "Nutcracker Suite" Peter I. Tchaikovsky, Going to the Nutcracker with Annie, Sheri, Cheryl, and then being ballerinas in the living room.
49. “Christmas Eve-Sarajevo” Trans Siberian Orchestra, that night we found the house with the lights in sync, meeting the "oft talked about" Jared for the first time and discovering a kindred spirit over a discussion of Christmas lights.
50."Agony" Into the Woods, when I came home and we went up to the Ski Lodge and played games and sang songs all the way there and back with Thad, me, Kendra, and Jared, a cherished memory
51."Pressure" David Bowie and Queen, working 75 hours a week at APX and teaching, writing a book with a 2 month deadline, ward choir!?! and friends who lost their minds. Meeting darling Esther.
52. "Paperback Writer" My Books are published
53. "Belle" from Beauty and the Beast, my 27th Birthday and the surprises of going to the play and the birthday party after. This is probably the best birthday I have ever had.
54. "Life is Beautiful" Vega 4--life is good, my fall and spring semester of 2007 and 2008. Living with my good friends, meeting wonderful new friends Nick, James, and Jon, Skyler, and Rob.
55. "A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes" Cinderella, Being a princess for the Make a Wish Foundation
56. "I’m Yours” Jason Mraz, Going to Florida to grade AP Tests
57. "No More Drama" Mary j Blige, a Summer of hard knocks and great mental and physical anguish
58. "Stand" Rascall Flatts, learning that great adversity can teach you more about yourself than any other kind of experience--finding more pieces of myself.
59. "Mas Que Nada" Sergio Mendes, more happy times from this summer, the Brazil Party where Curtis turns up yet again like a stranger in the night.
60. "Summer Samba" singing with Jed in the twilight.
61. "Wake Me Up when September Ends" Greenday, I thought this every time I was faced with coming back to school after dealing with major health problems this August.
62. "Anyway" Martina McBride, realizing that what I do is important and that even if I get smashed down I should do what I love doing, writing and teaching. Great line "God is great, but sometimes life ain't good, and when I pray it doesn't always come out like I think it should, but I do it anyway."
63. "Say" John Mayer. Say what you need to say.
So far...
"In My Life": The Soundtrack of Alisha Geary
1. "The Rose" Bette Midler--along with 2."Another one Bites the Dust" by Queen this was the most popular song the year I was born.
3. “Capital I” from Sesame Street. I was a big fan of Sesame Street. I loved it so. This is one of the most beautiful little ditties. Jared and I agree on this one. I was around 1 1/2, I think when I first remember this.
4. “We are the World” USA for Africa, ahh the smell of diesel and suntan lotion, the trip to the Lake and the Camper rolling back on the tire catchers. Sigh…lots of cussing from Papa.
5. “Pinball Counting Song” okay, everyone remembers this right--The pinball counting song from Sesame Street by the Pointer Sisters?
6. “Bein’ Green” Kermit the Frog. This song first taught me about the sadness and strength that comes from being different. I would remember it when I faced my own green days.
7. “Music Box Dancer” Frank Mills. This song takes me back to my grandma’s dance studio watching Aunt Julie and Karen to point ballet.
8. “C is for Cookie” okay, I love cookies and I love Sesame Street. Was it any wonder that Cookie Monster was my favorite?
9. "Islands in the Stream" Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers, oh those good old days in the mellow yellow car going to Reams. I knew every word.
10. "The Glory of Love" Peter Cetera, from The Karate Kid 2, a favorite of me and my brother's. We would recreate that fateful last scene in the castle. But after Aaron did the crane on me we were encouraged not to play Karate Kid anymore.
11. "Chariots of Fire" Vangelis, amazing electric score for an amazing movie, reminds me of grandma's house and Aaron.
12. "Sweet Caroline" Neil Diamond, every Saturday we would play games and listen to oldies. Neil Diamond was a favorite for my mom and her sisters. This song reminds me of my cousin and all of the family singing to their wedding video. Jake's family must think we are crazy.
13. " Love me Tender" Elvis, "Is this the King?" I loved Elvis as a small child.
14. "Tomorrow" Annie Soundtrack, I would watch this every time I went to my Grandma Geary's. I love that movie so much.
15. "Rocky Raccoon" The Beatles, the fateful Badger Creek Youth Conference when it snowed.
16. " I am a Rock " Simon and Garfunkle, I was sick a lot and for a while this was my theme song. "I have my books and my poetry to protect me. I am shielded in my armor. Hiding in my room, safe within my womb, I touch no one and no one touches me. . . "
17. "Kodachrome" Simon and Garfunkle, you should hear what my mom thinks the words to this song are. Also reminds me of debate and our tee-shirts. The first verse is choice.
18. "Norwegian Wood" The Beatles, I listened to the Beatles every day but Sunday in high school.
19. "Drive my Car" The Beatles, learning to drive, not wanting to drive, hating to drive.15. " Magical Mystery Tour" The Beatles, Aaron left and I got to drive "Old Bess" our 1972 GMC orange and white striped truck with the fake wood stripe. I learned to love to drive in that Truck!
20. "Bitter Sweet Symphony" Senior Year, need I say more. I will never go back.17. "Wide Open Spaces" The Dixie Chicks--going to Snow and learning to tolerate Country music
21. "You wear Flowers" Peter Brienholt, Snow College
22. "Yesterday" The Bealtes, singing in LD Singers
23. " Good Day Sunshine" The Bealtes, getting to know and love my friend Liz Parnell
24. "Just to See You Smile" Tim McGraw, the first country song I liked. Kelly and Andrea used to play it in their room all of the time--at the same time as "California". Rap and Country!?!
25. "Lullabye" Billy Joel, LD Singers and Natalie
26. "And So It Goes" Billy Joel, Betsy's concert and finding the Mead House
27. "Into the Woods" Stephen Soundheim, bonding with Kathy and April
28. "Long Ago and Far Away" Jo Stafford. Grandpa Geary dies
29. "Your Song" Elton John, back to Logan, rediscovering some many friendsips with old friends like my brother, Brianna, Devin, Josh, Jordan, Bryan. Meeting Brooke and Jamie and JR. All of those nights playing cards and Full Contact Murder in the Dark.
30. " Invisible" Clay Aiken, intro to American Idol, I will always think of Brianna
31. "Waiting All My Life" Rascal Flatts, Aaron realizing that he had finally met "the one". I knew it when he started listening to country. :)
32. "It's Not Just Me" Aaron and Brooke get married! I finally get a sister.
33"To Where you Are" Josh Groban, Adrienne's Death at 23 of Leukemia
34 "Another Brick in the Wall" Pink Floyd, Graduate School and Teaching, Enter Steven Haderlie
35 "Forever in Blue Jeans" Neil Diamond, Graduate School and teaching
36 "White Christmas" The Drifters, The chior party where Thad proposed to me with Willie
37 "Defying Gravity" Wicked, Kendra Kendra Kendra
38 "I'm not that Girl" Wicked, my old theme song with boys
39 "You Look Wonderful tonight" Eric Clapton, the Spring Dance, Jodie and Steve's first date--had a blast with Thad
40"Lost" LOST, LOST parties and Wednesday nights
41"We are the Champions" Queen, I defended my thesis and graduated
42"This never happened" Paul McCartney, the Lake House and that great summer before I left. The pool parties with Anne and Kendra, Reba and Melissa, Jennie. When we went to "The Lake House" with Bryan after he threw Kendra into the pool and I went in of my own accord.
43. "Bad Day" Daniel Powter, first day in Provo
44. "Ooh Child" Five Stairsteps, Provo getting better
45. "Feeling Good" Michael Buble, loving life as a teacher and Provo--go figure. This reminds me of singing in the car with Sheri, Annie, Cheryl, Nicole, and Becca
46. "Chasing Cars" Snow Patrol, Thad's birthday meeting Curtis and the crew and Thad's siblings who would all become my neighbors.
47."You are Loved" Josh Groban, break up with Nick and moving on
48. "Nutcracker Suite" Peter I. Tchaikovsky, Going to the Nutcracker with Annie, Sheri, Cheryl, and then being ballerinas in the living room.
49. “Christmas Eve-Sarajevo” Trans Siberian Orchestra, that night we found the house with the lights in sync, meeting the "oft talked about" Jared for the first time and discovering a kindred spirit over a discussion of Christmas lights.
50."Agony" Into the Woods, when I came home and we went up to the Ski Lodge and played games and sang songs all the way there and back with Thad, me, Kendra, and Jared, a cherished memory
51."Pressure" David Bowie and Queen, working 75 hours a week at APX and teaching, writing a book with a 2 month deadline, ward choir!?! and friends who lost their minds. Meeting darling Esther.
52. "Paperback Writer" My Books are published
53. "Belle" from Beauty and the Beast, my 27th Birthday and the surprises of going to the play and the birthday party after. This is probably the best birthday I have ever had.
54. "Life is Beautiful" Vega 4--life is good, my fall and spring semester of 2007 and 2008. Living with my good friends, meeting wonderful new friends Nick, James, and Jon, Skyler, and Rob.
55. "A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes" Cinderella, Being a princess for the Make a Wish Foundation
56. "I’m Yours” Jason Mraz, Going to Florida to grade AP Tests
57. "No More Drama" Mary j Blige, a Summer of hard knocks and great mental and physical anguish
58. "Stand" Rascall Flatts, learning that great adversity can teach you more about yourself than any other kind of experience--finding more pieces of myself.
59. "Mas Que Nada" Sergio Mendes, more happy times from this summer, the Brazil Party where Curtis turns up yet again like a stranger in the night.
60. "Summer Samba" singing with Jed in the twilight.
61. "Wake Me Up when September Ends" Greenday, I thought this every time I was faced with coming back to school after dealing with major health problems this August.
62. "Anyway" Martina McBride, realizing that what I do is important and that even if I get smashed down I should do what I love doing, writing and teaching. Great line "God is great, but sometimes life ain't good, and when I pray it doesn't always come out like I think it should, but I do it anyway."
63. "Say" John Mayer. Say what you need to say.
So far...
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